Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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