so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize