when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
i think im in europe. pls send help
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
