She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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