it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
