he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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