I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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