hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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