It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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