i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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