Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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