hell yes lets make some ravioli
we're chasing vodka with high fives
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
