I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Come see our sink grown plant.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
