it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
