Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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