therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize