I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
