So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
if only i could text you this smell
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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