my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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