I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
