am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
