I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
