I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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