Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
