whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize