My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
