everyone is single if you try hard enough
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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