now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
