I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
