I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
