butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
