I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
