:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
