I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
