her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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