i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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