I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
