She's JV to your varsity
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
