Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i jhust puked up my retainher.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
