I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
