Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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