is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Can Purell be used as lube?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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