Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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