Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
bring money and cleavage
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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