But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I am spending my child support on dildos
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
