Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
After tacos, we're chasing women.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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