I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
