If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
