No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
