I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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