I hate all girls vehemently.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
