My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
