My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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