It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Never underestimate the power of titties
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
