So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize