so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
