I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
